More Birds, Less Evaporation

One a.m., and I was watering plants out front. A car approached and dodged around several parking barriers placed in the street for the inscrutable daily street construction. The car finally parked. A couple emerged, and the woman immediately began interrogating me with crisp directness. “Sir, why are you out here watering plants at one a.m.?” I was at a loss for words. “Why?” she persisted. I finally stuttered, “Because it seems like a good time to water plants.” She replied, “Is this when you also feed the birds?” Dun-dun-dun, she knows my daily habits! “No, that’s for the daytime,” I exclaimed, hoping to appear less daft than I act, without also explaining the embarrassing number of pigeons clogging the neighborhood telephone wires these days or the drawbacks of the nightly feeding habits of the local skunks. Her mate came to the rescue and said, “Less evaporation at night.” Yeah, like he said!